This blog was created for others who will hopefully glean something from the words I have written.Not much to say except I ran off from an orphanage when I was 13 years old.Hopped on a freight train and joined the circus.Have been wandering ever since.I am grateful to be alive and my only desire is to leave something here for others to gain from.If I can accomplish that then I have successfully reached my intended goal.All we have left in the end is our legacy.
My innocence has been stained With Crimson tears Within myself I conceal Those inner most fears When blood hath flowed From other places Enduring screams Utter disgrace Within myself I must conceal Pretending not to feel Numb to all such pain My tears fall like acidic rain Such wounds that run deep Looking into my eyes You cannot see Beyond my disguise This sanguine flow Which stains my thighs A thousand deaths I have died No one came to save me Each time I cried
Hard pressed up against the window Spirited from place to place At the mercy of people who use me As though I were a chess piece My heart is in pain While my parents battle on Division in the ranks of variance Pulled upon like taffy Cooling waters to quell the heat afar Until then there is no place of my own What is love-but a fleeting thing What I have known of it is dashed Upon hardened rock that juts upwards As if reaching for something Yet I know it is not meant for me The warm heart that will touch me Awaits somewhere out in the abyss Although its presence is felt It is not yet seen Rather something accepted on faith That a day will come when my tears shall fail My heart will be filled with the warmth of joy My place will be assured for me Only then will I be truly loved Able to breathe once again
When all is quiet and nothing stirs A visitor comes to see The cream skinned girl who slumbers Upon the featherbed It is not her skin so fair Neither is it her silver hair He is the guardian of the night Who watches through the candle light Under the guise of the glowing moon Until the sun rises once again She is an angel that he adores Watching over forever more
Sailing towards the end of the world Magnificently reflecting towards eternity A voyage not always smooth Against rough hewn shores I have adored certain parts A journey beyond my wildest dreams Beneath countless stars and many moons Chapters that seemed endless in time The wind hath filled my sails full In the rocking of the bough Sleeping away in the palm of my hand Are the precious moments in my life
My tomatoes accompany me To the induction center I pass all my tests and the physical exam The staff seargant invokes his wrath Upon my tomatoes Threatening to exile them He is politely informed My tomato bitches go with me Lest you molest my family There are not many choices of what must be done He remembers watching Full Metal Jacket My tomatoes are with me while in the Infirmary They are with me on the bus ride home Upon the windowsill in my room they sit My old job at the factory awaits me My own father will not say anything Against my tomatoes My dachsund sits upon the bed with me Staring at my bitches who sit in the sun Upon the windowsill
The clothesline pole bends in the wind As her flower print apron dissapears Soon will go her pinstriped dress Upon the hill of tears She is the good woman who toils Moving upon the wind to inspire Visiting other weather worn women Who stubbornly refuse to tire Her hands of steel from endless work Stern may be her face Inside there is a heart of gold That always keeps its place Not far behind is her faithful cat It follows her throughout all time It is the cat that follows the good woman As she continues her climb To the tops of many hills of tears Where she dries the children's eyes Before she moves upon the wind Inspiring others to rise
Today my dad helped me We made a castle of sand My sister said it was fit for a unicorn That came from a magical land Where dragons breathe their fire In gardens children play Gumdrops grow on bushes In pots made out of clay In the evening we watched the waves Slowly went the sun Another castle dissapears Another dream is done
Great lightnings which once clambered From rooftop to rooftop Now gather in the ocean within The motion-upon such waves Under the gaze of Orion Even unto Pleiades The seven daughters of Atlas Peer upon the waters In the twinklings of other stars Which pull upon me As stringed instruments Of a lyre which plays Like reins attached to my heart Gently tugging at me with their power Andromeda which once remained a mystery No longer evades me Upon the lulling of the ocean In the midst of stinging salt My nostrils are filled with its odours I have known love Such as in this great gathering Not only upon the oceans Also unto the island beyond Which conceals my heart It knows me as I lay upon the beach With a shell upon my ear Closely listening to the waves Far away the inner sounds carry me Unto places I would not go myself Places where angels might fear to tread It surrounds me within The mighty gathering Yet I know I am safe For I am like the hart that desires As it sits by the side of the brook It listens intently to the babbling Far away it carries the hart Until it has reached the island In the gathering upon the sea
Gathering fingers of the cacti Envelop within their palm Delicate desert flower Within itself there is much power Yet like the lotus upon the water Shifting petals filled with dew It stands in poise with life anew Its very pristine innocence conceals That which thrives inside The still small beating heart That nobody hears Concealed quietly from outer fears Lest someone should notice The dried up tears My desert flower in solitude In pure white sands upon the mesa I am the tumbleweed that rolls by Briefly capturing the flowers eye
Grey shafts of light in the tunnel of terror Screeching wheels on the rails Emitting sparks along the way Above are the naked skyscrapers Giant fingers reaching upward Muddy coloured clouds adorn The city without pity Feet pounding the pavenment Mercilessly by the forlorn Crushed abdomens of innocent ants Yet there is no weeping Except the machines who notice Oil are the tears of the machines They weep in the vortex of delerium
Fearless divebombers of the ocean Marked targets in the water below Buoyant pirates who have no fear Their inner beauty surpasses grace in flight Hearts are worn openly Upon such waves ridden freely Pelican kings and queens Waddling in courtly fashion Until gentle winds carry them To places where others dream to be Gulls attempt to follow A rising sun which does not trust Revelations are in their silence Actions speak loudly Thriving in the foam of the brine
The flower dream spiral Within fractal heavens Fading membranes separate Floating sphericals on their way Where light and darkness Exist under different circumstances Than myths created by men
Life parades by my bench Children play on swings Down in Central Park Feeding crumbs of bread to pigeons Grumblings in my stomach An observation of leaves upon The withered branches Straining to see beyond With the brain that inhabits my skull For moments it appears surreal Spinning whirlwinds of dust Sirens in the background whine Mist blown from the fountain by the wind Upon my face carried by the breeze It is inevitable that in the crux of thought Such things would occur Twisting its way downward into my soul Likened unto a hammer that pounds away At bone and marrow Until only dust remains It is then that I am reminded; All things return from where they came
Roarings in the hollow tunnel Wheels screeching Wildly beseeching Sparks emitting Glowing flames hidden Behind sunken eyes Who travel through the tunnel To many destinations In the city of rhuminations that thrives upon Despairs of others For the cost of fare Sit many mothers in despair Who do not care Except for the monthly check that comes In the mail for survival's sake Slowly winds the subway train Always screeching,always winding Through the city It is the hunger that drives them The unrelenting viper slithers Past platforms with gazing eyes upon it In the tunnel like a giant funnel Towards its destination-onwards it trudges Forward to the monotiny of its pace In the never ending race towards Only death can save them from a fate Impatient people in crowds silently wait Stamping their feet upon the pavements In demand with their ever searching hands For the glimpses of light at the end of the tunnels There is no time to wipe off the grime They have known love from what they read in books Their Ipod conceals what they fear to reveal Looking down upon the floor at the many feet In the hollow tunnel where wheels screech Above is the city-survival of the fittest Unlike the rodent population in the copulation Of the metro subway tunnels that funnel Those who travel unaware who do not care Awaiting them in the light are the skyscrapers Nostrils filling with the vapors Skyscrapers like giant fingers reaching towards Rusty clouds like shrouds that leap Towards shadows in the street that will not keep The televisions emit their light Radios blare on in the existence created for them Above while below Roarings in the hollow tunnel continue onwards The viper refuses to slumber Due to the number who continue to venture On metro subways that rise up into the streets
John Lee Hooker music plays in the background My eyes stare out into blank spaces The gaze is upon unseen stars cloaked Under the sun of all suns At times double vision distorts Voices permeate the air In the conglomeration upon my porch Wild animals approach within thirty feet Unaware of the fears I have known Gently foraging on the grass They are saved by grace In the evercoming winds Close by a discarded cooler Rememberance of voices As we quenched our thirsts Spirits of laughter fade in and out Upon my porch I see Thickened white hairs of my beard Bruise my face The old man grimaces and shouts out silently In the pain of happiness A lump in my throat protrudes As though my heart has been swallowed Yet I have breathed out the death of my fears Many times have I breathed Walking the breadth of the fields of wheat Music has always been sweet Even with holes in the leather of my shoes The jingle of coins in my pocket As the mighty locomotive trudges onward Belching smoke from its blackened stack Faithful dogs await me Upon my porch Yet another day is done Under this sun of all suns Which dried my tears long ago In places where no solace could be found I am in the by and by as night approaches Under the moon where stars are seen Upon my porch I see
I saw her from a distance In Central Park; Unbeknownst of my presence Songbirds heard faintly Butterflies hover about her in the Fluttering beat of wings Oblivious to such occurences As though a natural thing It is within the secret of her smile In the fragrances mixed in the air Perhaps it was meant to be But a vision of this stranger In the midst of an unrelenting city Small glimpses of innocence Shining brightly-chasing the darkness away ~ Imagination allows me such privelages Were it to be my choice Within a dream she is upon the windowsill The cuff of her floral blouse caresses her hand It is upon her shoulders Within that gentle twinkling with her eyes Such things unaware that I have seen The vine that flows from the sill Accepts the invitation from the sun There is that familiar sound of the songbirds Heard faintly in the distance Butterflies that hover about In the garden there is a bonsai tree A small ceramic pagoda is also found This is where I shall reside Within the sounds of the songbirds In the unrelenting city Where even the skyscrapers look down upon her With great reverence under the clouds Knowing the glimpse of innocence is Within their grasp Quiet eyes who have seen from the distance Within the realm of my dreams
Restless soul which resides Within my inner being The endless miles you have followed Witness to the clattering upon Decaying cobblestone streets Avenues taken in haste At first out of instinct Followed for the sake of curiosity Sitting upon strangers porch steps Deep inside there is something amiss The power of my inner being Reckoning with its caress Upon lips that prefer being held To words upon lips unto my ear In this solitude pondering The many times you consoled me As the night air brought forth tears Venturing downward upon my cheek You absorbed my shock into reality Through life's joys and mishaps Always with me before time Ever after once the barrier has been crossed Your presence shall be constant Enduring the trials and tribulations Greater psalms shall never be uttered Than what have been imparted to us Provocation on the strings of lyres Shall bring no melody greater than ours Even in the multitude of crowds We stand alone Acutely aware of our difference In the creation we thrive The roots which are deep Brings forth the vine that grows Slowly it creeps into the darkness In the coolness of the shade Only taking from the Sun its share The morning dew shall quench For in the creation we thrive
Opinions kept in silence Do not reach the ears of men Nor do they become victims To the sting of the tongue My mouth serves as a den Unto wolves who dwell within Amongst my entwined branches A beaten brow in survival Elements of time in nature Reveal such worn surfaces Yet the marrow slumbers deeply Within the safety of concealment Words spoken only encourage Xenophobia to flourish Thriving in coexistence with dreams Harmony fights against the variances Yet it cannot force itself upon the wind The beating of hearts flutter gently Solid matter holds life's essence Where the whims of thoughts Unable to penetrate the barriers Which separate and prevent The crossing over of two edged swords That would cut the bonds which hold Eternal existence of all origins Presiding upon the universe Chaos reigns in the streets Yet within the cries of the moanings Voices can still be heard Which speak with soft tongues Revealing such truths for its own sake Although such things often fall upon Deaf ears of fallen men My roots are deep into and upon Earthen places that keep me My thirst is replenished by the rains There is still great hope for all humankind Who walk upon this earth
