This blog was created for others who will hopefully glean something from the words I have written.Not much to say except I ran off from an orphanage when I was 13 years old.Hopped on a freight train and joined the circus.Have been wandering ever since.I am grateful to be alive and my only desire is to leave something here for others to gain from.If I can accomplish that then I have successfully reached my intended goal.All we have left in the end is our legacy.
Her soft brown hair Her dark green eyes The way she looks at me She is forever silent There are no words to decree Cross words never spoken Her love is just a token The way she sits in posture With pearls in her hand The flowing of her silken dress She'll always understand From time to time I visit Her image in my mind The lady without a name Unless I'm so inclined Alas she is a mannequin She does not see or hear Within there is no beating heart She knows not joy or fear Innocent of all that could be done Ageless she will remain I stand before her silently Oblivious to the rain
Caress your mane and enter in and touch the lovers you have known Up and down, round and round One hundred years, we've held your rein Up and down, round and round You play your music from the stars We wonder where your children are You have traveled a million miles You will travel a million more Up and down, round and round Through the mirror ten thousand souls Up and down, round and round I touch your mane, I touch their souls Up and down, round and round To whirl and twirl with sculptured gold With blazing lights and radiant eyes Swirling through years gone by Whirling through years to be Everything has changed, you remain the same Up and down, round and round I touch your mane, I touch their souls Up and down, round and round
My name is Collage I'm like a mirage My image is of the many seasons Springtime is my birth All is in mirth Birds sing my name for no other reason I am in my innocence in this season Summer is my youth I am spreading my wings For the first of times Discovering many things All is new but soon becomes old In this season I am bold Autumn is my time of maturity My life shall not place me into obscurity The work I have done In my labour under the sun Shall be remembered by all Forever more they shall Hear my voice call Winter is my season of expire Still I have many memories Of things I greatly admire My tree has expanded My seeds have been planted A resemblance of myself Shall appear in the spring ~ Good planting takes preparation The soil must be cleared of all rubble Rubble represents the carnage in the world The root and cause of all trouble Once it is cleared the soil must be tilled To ensure there is plenty of air Fertilizing the soil is a must To prevent work done in despair Tilling the soil represents cleansing Fertilization is in preparation of the seed Ensuring growth will be taken on proper Covering all of the need To keep oneself clean and without impurity All that is planted will be recieved well Mixtures of elements once there is planting Sun and moisture that will compel Tending the planting by cropping of weeds Weeds represent selfish needs Weeds come up in all seasons of life But there is no need for them to cause strife The daily process nips it in the bud Dispelling misinformation before it takes root Soon comes harvest time When the planter shall share in the fruit If all has been done in accordance Then the fruit will be sweet And pleasant to the eye Many will grow into other trees Who will cause to multiply The Origin of Species in its survival Applied to the species of humans Who are able to outshine all creation In excess of all combined lumens
Raindrops remind me of all the tears That have endured over the years Like the oil of machines Those are their tears People walk by but nobody hears The many machines can be heard crying Muffled in their cries in cities that are dying Choking on the smoke filled streets of gloom I sit here silently in my cluttered room Abandonment of the world is on my mind That somehow through all the tears I might find Those elusive shadows that lurk In the background of The inner recesses of thought In empty corridors from that which is wrought The eyes which see of visions blurred In its stillness I can hear the rain Words written in vain upon paper To express all of the inner pain Perhaps it might reduce some of my fear If there was but one ear That could see the tears of all the others Unborn children yet to know their mothers In their cradles sleeping gently Upon the clouds that I have painted Upon the walls inside their minds Shimmering lights that are so bright In direct contrast to that which blinds Hopes not yet realized whereas to prevent The dashing of dreams upon rocks Hewn from smiling faces that look upon the sea This is the juxtaposition within my paradox Acceptance from leaps of faith How well does the mind fare Foolish believers in myth fabled images Where only a journeying mind might dare To grasp the lid of the horizon In a tell tale heart that slowly beats The moon peeks over the dusk of night Where the bloody horizon partly meets Unborn ewes who dream in their mothers wombs Unaware of the waiting tombs They are led to slaughter much in likeness To the tears that stain my mind
At times the intensity of the focus Is so real It is almost too much to feel In overwhelming waves It becomes a blur Crystal clarity cannot occur Deep within there is the light Outer influences do not exist Staring into blank spaces Is only part of the gist Impletion is an evasive dream No grimoire can remotely complete The path I walk is a solitary place Where lies the bittersweet Salt poured on wounds Of scars that are healed To the greater powers I most humbly yield No questioning of what has occured Within my vision of the things that are blurred It propels me towards a motion that draws Attached to me and something that gnaws At the hearstrings that pull at me Like naive reins Which steer me relentlessly Past walls of putrid stains Which are blurred in slow motion That briefly appear Vanishing moments to no avail In the reflections of the mirror That allow me to peer into my own soul
That spoon was used for afternoon tea Our conversation was most enthralling Little did I know like the rising of steam That the voice from beyond had been calling There was an odd stillness yesterday Like a quiet Sunday midmorning Oddly enough in recognition The nudging of a gentle warning That string of pearls she played with We traded stories and laughter Oblivious to any stirrings about Or as to what may be upon the rafter I now realize that its presence was there Even so in gentle care Patiently awaiting to perform the deed When time becomes irrelevant Expirations must take the lead Almost as if in slow motion I watched As she placed her glasses on the lace It seemed extremely focused and intentional As many times before she had done in grace Then silence befell the room in a hush There seemed to be no impending rush The clock ticked by slowly like a metronome Upon the wall Bluebirds in the background heard singing There was no indication in their call Shafts of sunlight filled the room Bits of dust seen basking in the light A peacefullnes fullfilled my heart In observation of her ascention up the stairs Bidding me a good night In finality her door closed As it had many times She would not rise again The ticking clock faithfully chimes I am afraid to touch those pearls Or to move the objects upon the table Hanging on to those last moments Like a child seduced by some fable I will have the fond memories Her face I will see no more But there is a smile upon my brow It is also upon my face as I take notice to the floor Remembering the sounds of her footsteps Faintly I say faintly in the memory I shall adore
This image is cast upon me I am drawn to the child Who is not my own Then again he is also mine From all of the seeds that are sown He comes from a distant race I look at the smile upon his face His laughter replaces mine When there were times I had none He is content in his pool of water His innocence is brighter Than the brightest sun It is an image to place upon my wall When I sink down into my deepest of pits One look at this child My own mind immedeately admits Reminding me that although This child is not my own Then again he is also mine
Each night is the same It is a relentless game I don't remember any faces It's just the way I make my living No amount of money can compensate For what it is that I'm giving I am numb to being touched Words spoken to me fall upon Deaf ears Nothing can be said to console me Or to wipe away my tears Still there is this little girl inside That does not accept that I have died Late at night when all is quiet She speaks to me alone We remember the innocent days Before I took on this grindstone Somewhere in the world I have a mother She does not know my location Somewhere in the world I have a brother He does not know my vocation Somewhere in the world I have a child She does not know who I am Better for her so she has a chance To grow up an innocent lamb No longer am I filled with bitter remorse For what I have chosen to be A sun sets and frees me from the shadows From which I cannot flee There is no God that hears my voice My pleas fell upon deaf ears There is no hope for me to cope Entangled in my own fears I'm not like the other girls I don't do drugs or fall in love Perhaps the little girl inside Will be my shining dove Maybe she will lead the way Down the winding path I shall escape the willing rape From animals that grope me in their rath
Hours ago it turned to night My wake from the daylight slumber In a warehouse of mannequins For I am just a number Dust gathers about my feet I look into the dim light That filters in from the street Plastic skins surround me My thoughts confound me My legs will not allow Escape from this place Amongst the mannequin race Of which I belong ~ I want to sing but cannot speak I am beautiful but never kissed Except once I was brushed up against Gentle human warmth that is remembered For a brief moment I was touched Although far from a caress As he looked back at me momentarily Before leaving the silent room Where I sit amongst the others in my gloom
As if there were always someone waiting Who's at my back door Peering in with wide open eyes As I pace the wooden floor Deep in thought searching for words I must set aside my search for now Impossible to ignore that face at the door It's time for a break anyhow So many questions she asks of me As she sits there upon my porch It is a special thing asked of me To be her shining torch For now I must be her knight in armour Little does she know I am worse Than Don Quixote fumbling about But to her I am the universe She is the child who lives next door Another lives down the street On the other side of town are five more That I have yet to meet For some reason I am the magnet That attracts them to my heart But gladness is with me every time Until comes the time to part It is a time for the mending of wings A time when the sweet sparrow Of innocence sings My ears take in the melody so soft As I wave them goodby from atop my loft Remembering all those faces So impossible to forget
This is the clearing where I made my peace On that day I will never forget After three decades plus a few more Never has there been a single regret Surrender was made in finality As I stood on my permissable path Downtrodden with my own defeat Tired of my own rath Several oaths had been made before But this time was different It is the one I adore Finally my decision to open the door To let the power in ~ I was sat down as if by a mighty hand Only to be shown my final stand Peering inside of myself The crude formation Of what I had been In my transformation Somewhere I had lost my way Wandering the country day by day Nobody knew my real name Just the same-it was only a game It had all been like a fairy tale Nothing could be grasped Like wind in a sail Stranded along the sanbar A deserted ship Hollow on the inside Blood flows from my bitten lip The vision and the word I command unto my own mind Truth was my inner vision Now I must make haste to find A familiar path from long ago Trodden down with many weeds Accountability for all of my actions Humility for all the deeds Now to see the err of my ways To spend the rest of my living days Climbing up that vine of ivy That takes me back from whence I came Nothing can ever be the same I am chained to the words that rule Placing them carefully in open spaces It is a constant duel The words are gifts in restitution For that which was not replaced Forevermore to walk carefully In recompense for my actions in haste
It's not the fact that this vessel's full But rather what is represents I placed a coin in it each day My lover showed intents To make me smile To give me joy To leave a gentle kiss It is that one coin on the side For no more coins will fit It represents the culmination Of my completed bliss
My decision to take
A vacation from life
On an indefinite break
Not for the benefit
Of all those I know
But only for my own sake
I am amongst many new piers
There is Sarah who is always in tears
Mr.Benedict who cries out his fears
Then there is Eugene who talks to his hat
I almost forgot Willie who has a pet rat
The rat seems to know more about life
Than Winston who paces the hall
He has been a tenant for thirty three years
He sleeps in the shower stall
Miles hugs an old dead tree
He found on a walk one day
Henry stands upon the wall
It's his idea of play
He talks to himself most of the time
Getting many answers as well
Fred stands on his chair in the corner
Preaching on heaven and hell
Mary jumps with her invisible rope
Its the only way she knows how to cope
Then there is me I am up on the ledge
Observing this circus of loons
Soon it will be their medication time
The ultimate of all the lampoons
Drowsy eyelids as they eat their meal
Dead silence in the dining hall
Soon it will be time for bed
Before they begin to fall
Like dominoes they stand in a stack
Ready to be thrown on top of the rack
They march in single file to the doom of their room
Until sunrise comes when they will resume
The three ring circus again will begin
We are the clowns of the loony bin
But as in the world we are the patients
Who run this institution
To remain here on vacation it seems
Is the only sensible solution
Another runaway who waits for the bus That heads off to a place on the map It matters not where the journey ends It bridges some unseen gap The reasons for parting seem to be many Some worse than others I am told Survival is the name of the game Only intended for the bold For those who are meek fall by the wayside Unless strangers befall them who ask For nothing in return of what they offer They are knights of a valiant task Perhaps some words to turn them home The offer of a cell phone call Heading off the possibilities Of what they may befall A shepherd finds his lost sheep And does what he must in order to keep The preservation of innocent ewes To head off the wolf that surely pursues In the aftermath there is always that look That you seem to feel from above Is it some sort of a sign being given Or merely the song of the dove It is concealed like a hidden treasure Its revelation never revealed The knight knows that's how it goes He has merely enabled his shield To once again Defend the virtues of another lost soul
I've worked in fields all this day These few potatoes are my pay Now I'm willing to give you one In exchange for a single rose It's for my mother who waits at home So if I might propose She has not had a flower As far as I recall She often talks about her days When she was very small Her own mother never had A single rose to touch In deep regret to never get A simple gift as such I cannot go another day Before I give my mother A single rose for her to touch Unlike my own grandmother I will not have this deep regret To let my mother know How much she really means to me For how I love her so My only thought is for my mother I need to see her smile for me To know her heart is glad For this I need to see
Helpless from falling No reply to my calling I lay here in silence and wait Will someone come To lift me up Is this my chosen fate It doesn't seem That in this scheme My fate should be so cruel With all my efforts Here on earth I have not been a fool To celebrate I cultivate Nurturing love in those Who choose to be In likeness to me A wandering heart that glows Alas I hear some footsteps There is the faintest light All my hope has helped me cope 'Til comes my precious knight
Searching the treetops rain or shine My search continues to be world wide Of course it is for my heart that long ago died Whilst my brothers who had not yet Experienced their own puberty In its yolk the embreo remains unaware Blood runs coldly from the sunlight No longer do I acknowledge sounds Of the crickets Even when it rains and is accompanied By frogs whom I used to love There is no room left in my library Books upon the shelf will gather dust Many of them do not contain any words Unless I decide to allow it to enter In which case all things return to me Momentarily there is a hush amongst the reeds While they allow the wind to pass It is on the way to other realms That stretch beyond horizons Which have not yet been assigned They are in the blackness of white clouds That remain concealed for all eternity Even flies dare not enter They fear the ceasing of a beating pulse As do I in unison with the fly My journey continues in search of Unicorns that continue to evade me It is true that every cloud Has a silver lining But I am not satisfied Of course it is over my heart That long ago died
King Cretheus in death Has no meaning for me Many times I have been falsely Mistaken for an Argonaut Although I am not My sheep were misled And totally enslaved Little did they know That in their underbelly Nobody clung to their wool Desiring to make escape Leaving me to fend in blindness Yet still able to see My own memory of the sea From the place where my father resides Within the waves that defy all time Poseidon knows my heart In anger Acis died from my rock Yet I still am able to find solace Galatea is still singing forever That allows me to continue my intercourse Between my mind and my heart In the absence of my own sight
